How To Ruin Your Relationships and Business Using Facebook

This post is probably about you.  You are probably guilty of over sharing information, your personal feelings or ignorance on the mega social media site called Facebook and what you don’t understand is that by doing so you may ruin the very connections that are dear to your existence, even your lively hood.

There are nearly 700 million people on Facebook. You may only have 7, 70 or 700 friends but keep in mind they are friends with other people and before you know it you are the star in your own Kevin Bacon game. They are reading what you are writing. Half the time they are probably skimming your nonsense.  People really don’t care how much coffee you have consumed, that your job sucks, or if Betty Sue stole your baby name but there are those times when something catches their eye, they will click the Like button or even comment. Sometimes a status update can generate a thoughtful conversation, a friendly debate, or a down right nasty argument.

Facebook has become one of the easiest, fastest ways to disperse information out to a large group of people. In a matter of minutes news can go around the world, and back. So it should be no surprise that when you change your relationship status on Facebook that before the day ends everyone you know and then some will know if you are single, in a relationship, it’s complicated, or getting divorced. Today Facebook is being used to announce the birth of a baby and the death of a loved one to if someone had a healthy bowel movement after breakfast. We have all seen those status updates that made us say TMI. I surely don’t want to know that Uncle Raymond has been getting jiggy with his old lady friend and I don’t want to read about my sweet nieces and nephews getting drunk or seeing pictures of their half naked bodies grinding in the club. Some things are just better left unsaid and unknown.

I am definitely one to over share on Facebook. I posted a link to a picture of my uterus after my hysterectomy and talked about getting my boobies smashed when I had a breast cancer scare. I also have branded myself and this blog as being open, honest and tell it like it is however even I have lines. Somethings really shouldn’t be aired in public because when you start broadcasting it it could have far reaching consequences to your personal life and even your professional life.

For example, what sparked this entire post was that last night in my news feed I saw a local, popular jeweler I had friended write some racially charged comments about President Obama. I really don’t care if you like our president or not, but what I do care about is if you make comments about wanting him dead, think he should hang from a tree by the neck like an ape, and making hateful comments about his wife and children. I don’t care if you are a redneck from lower Alabama and have pulled a straight Republican ticket since you were legally able to vote, these are comments that should not be on your Facebook page for several hundred people to read. I do not want to read your sexist comments and derogatory comments about women in politics by calling them whores. I’m pretty certain, because I know this mans customers, that women and men with liberal leaning politics have given this man thousands of dollars of their money, not to mention voted for President Obama. This is one of those times you need to sit on your fingers and keep your bigoted, sexist, political views to yourself. I can assure you that not only did I unfriend this fellow but I also will never give him one cent of my money.

Concerning personal relationships, I suggest you not air your dirty laundry about your marriage or your romantic relationships. I really do not want to know if your significant other has been cheating on you. Calling out your best friend for sleeping with your husband in your status is probably not something that needs to be shared with all 200 of your “friends” or hers. Changing your relationship status multiple times a day to indicate anger really just indicates how immature you are, not the person you are trying to get to notice your shenanigans. If you really want to make all your friends and family feel uncomfortable go ahead and post “I know you sucked Bob’s dick you bitch” on your girlfriend’s wall. And if you are laughing and think that this is something funny I am just making up you couldn’t be more wrong. This is the kind of thing I’ve seen weekly, if not daily in my news feed. I can’t think of a faster way to alienate your inlaws than to call out their son for being a cheating, no good son of a bitch and asking if that baby really is his or to tell your wife that you would love to slam her head into the wall for disagreeing with you on Facebook. I wish I was making this stuff up, but I’m not. So let me put it to you simply – keep the drama of your arguments, your break-ups, your baby mama/daddy drama, and anything else that may make you both look like fools off Facebook. Let gossip travel the old fashioned way, over the telephone line and at the water cooler at work.

While I am an outspoken person I will be the first to admit that there are times you should hold your tongue. Keep in mind that Facebook is PUBLIC and NOT PRIVATE. The status may be yours but keep in mind that everyone in your friend list can read it and they can also share it with whomever they please. With the click of a smartphone and strokes on a keyboard your entire wall can be frozen in time as a screenshot to be shared in emails, text messages, and on webpages. What you say on Facebook can easily turn into the shot heard around the world in your social circles. Before you start typing you need to ask yourself if what you are about to write is going to make you look like a douche bag. If you use politically incorrect words be prepared for people to call you out on it and not only defriend you, but possibly never speak to you again. Tell some off color joke making fun of special needs kids and calling them retards and you are asking for a riot to erupt on your Facebook page. All of these things I have seen at one time or another in the two and a half years I have been on Facebook.

So let me break this down for you. Don’t put your dirty laundry out on Facebook. Don’t share the personal details of your relationship on Facebook. Mind your manners by not using inflammatory language about politics, special needs children, gay people, women or people of color. In fact keep all racist, sexist, homophobic, and religious intolerance to yourself. Remember that once you put it out there you can’t take it back even if you go back and click on the delete button. I’m just saying.

Have fun, but don’t be dumb.

 

 

 

Why I Homeschool – Part 3: Family Values, Mine Not Yours

Many people assume that one of the reasons I homeschool my children is because I want to shelter them. They couldn’t be more right. I’m not going to deny that I want to shelter my children from things going on in the world or in traditional schools. There is no point in pretending, I want these kids at home with me, learning our family values before they go out on their own. The thing is, when people hear phrases like family values or sheltering children they automatically assume that we are religious homeschoolers working hard to brainwash our brood of children to follow the right. This either goes one or two ways when being questioned about our family’s reason to homeschool – completely supportive for doing what God has commanded us to do (in their eyes of course) or scolding us for not exposing our children to what really goes on in the world causing them to be closed minded and afraid to live in society.

What most people do not realize is that my husband is not a Christian and I am such a liberal Christian that many consider me a heretic. And what is even more surprising is when people learn that one of the reasons I do not want my kids in traditional schools is because I really want to shield them from what are considered traditional Christian beliefs. I am not interested in raising my children with the belief they are born inherently bad, full of sin, to be saved from eternal damnation nor do I want them to grow up condemning others who do not fit into a cookie cutter belief system.

I live in the deep south. The Bible Belt. A red state. And while there is something called the separation of church and state many times that is over looked where I live. Public school teachers who are fundamentalist Christians make it a part of their Christian duty to take every opportunity to proselytize. They will also interject their beliefs and their prejudices into their teaching. They do not care about the rights of others and their beliefs. They do not care about the Jewish child, the Muslim child, the Pagan child or the secular child in the classroom. There focus is on “winning souls” for Jesus. What really this boils down to to me is that it is a prejudice I do not want my children to see or witness. I do not want my children to think that being a Christian trumps any other religion even though that is a widely taught and held belief.

It is probably no surprise from my regular readers that my Christian beliefs differ than many of my friends or those in my community. I am of the firm belief that when Jesus commanded us to love one another that this is what we should do. I want my kids to love everyone without conditions. I do not want my kids to care about the color of someone’s skin, their religious background, or what their sexuality is. I know – the HORROR. Who knew that one of the reasons I homeschool is to combat prejudice!

Another reasons I homeschool is because I do not want my children to be caught up in the “gimme, gimme, gimme” syndrome. Instead of being caught up in materialism and thinking that bigger is better and name brands is a sign of status in our society my focus is on my children learning to be content on where they are and what they have. I want them to be of service to others, crossing social class lines and not thinking that what is in someone’s back account defines happiness. Our worth is not defined by what we wear, where we live, or if we qualify for free lunch or not.

So it shouldn’t come to any surprise to you when I say I homeschool my children because I want them to grow up to be liberals. (no one pass out) It is my firm spiritual belief that Jesus was not a republican but in fact the very first socialist and I definitely want my children to follow in his foot steps. Jesus fed the hungry and never asked people if they worked or how much they had paid in taxes before feeding them. I want my children to work hard, pay their taxes, and not squabble over whether someone or not gets food stamps, WIC, or free lunch. Jesus was the great healer. From what I can recall he didn’t ask anyone if they had insurance before healing them nor charged them for His services. Jesus, he sure was radical.

I want my children to live simply, tread lightly on the earth, respect others and be peaceful like Jesus and these values are not the values I see in our school system, our churches or our society as a whole. I want to shelter them from bigotry, homophobia, classism, sexism, religious persecution, and materialism and if that is a disservice to my children than so be it.

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Wednesday night I will be hosting Homeschool Chat on Twitter. To join in on the conversation follow the hashtag #hschat.

So I’ve been busy…

With life, living but also missing writing, blogging, and twittering.

There were swimming lessons. Kara, the youngest and the most stubborn, did very well. No crying, no fit throwing, and no failing. Money well spent, but I wish we had more time in the pool this summer for practice and play. Next year we are looking at two swim clubs to possibly join.

We went on vacation to the mountains in North Carolina. See the mountain behind the church, the house we stayed at is near the top. The week we were there this old church was being knocked down.

This is the view from the porch. On occasion we would see golden eagles flying.

We saw bears. Lots of them beautifully painted in downtown historic Hendersonville, North Carolina.

We went waterfall hunting.

And Kara was afraid of them.

The water was really COLD!

Mr. K enjoying the scenery.

Looking Glass Mountain

This is us beginning a hike to a waterfall that was only supposed to be .5 miles from the trail head. Then we got lost and ended up hiking along a trail that had 200 ft drops on one side of it.

But we did end up finding the waterfall we were looking for – Skinny Dip Falls.

This is what happens after waterfall hunting and hiking all day. Pooped out kids.

We had a great time relaxing, eating and drinking. Now it’s time to plan another getaway, this time just Mr. K and I!

 

I may lace their Kool-aid with Benadryl

Tomorrow we are leaving for a family vacation. We haven’t taken a vacation for a few years other than a few long weekends here and there and we are excited to be getting away, leaving our work and worries behind us, and the opportunity to explore somewhere new. Unlike other vacations I have planned, this one was not planned way in advance, in fact it was just six weeks ago that I put the deposit down on the house we are renting. Normally six weeks out from a vacation is when I begin packing for our family of seven. I didn’t start packing until Wednesday of this week for this trip. I did do one thing from the start though and that was to secure the house sitter, the cat sitter, and the plant sitter which happen to be all different people.

Like most things in life, things inevitably fall apart at the last minute. My van needed work, the air conditioning went out and the hatch to the cargo space would not open. Then kids got sick, then I got sick all before a major road trip. Now I am dosed up with drugs and praying that this bronchitis I have doesn’t turn into pneumonia because it sure feels worse than bronchitis. My pocket book is also feeling the strain of all this unexpectedness.

I realized yesterday while waiting  in the doctor’s office that I really am aging and this poor body I reside in has been abused. I can feel my weight on me much differently than I did five years ago. My joints ache, my bones pop, and my hands are no longer youthful looking. I need more sleep, I pee more, and I swear food effects me way differently now than it did just a few years ago (and you know what I mean by this). It seems like it was just yesterday I was 17. And it didn’t help that the doctor who saw me today at Urgent Care looked not a year older than my ten year old son. Good lord they are graduating those doctors out earlier and earlier. This guys voice hadn’t even changed yet!

Morning however can’t get here soon enough. I am really looking forward to that nine hour drive with five kids in the backseat. Don’t worry, I have packed the Benadryl. And don’t be judging me, because you so know that if you were in tight quarters with a bunch of heathens, trapped, listening to bickering and Disney movies on the DVD player you would need some kind of back up.

 

Dear Universe – I hear you

Over the weekend I had one of those moments when I flashed back to nearly seven years ago when I was working 80 hours a week, my house was a mess, and my family life, well, wasn’t a family life at all. The wake up call I got was a a very large long leaf pine falling through the middle of the roof into the family room during Hurricane Ivan. To say I do not have time for a natural disaster is a an understatement, so instead of getting a wake up call from the gods I’ve decided that I must head the warning that my mind and body is sending to me.

It’s time to slow down. Time to breathe. Time to prioritize. Time for me to find the balance and the calm in the chaos. Time to say no.

I’m tired. I’ve been going 90 to nothing for awhile now. I don’t want to let anyone down, but I really don’t want to let down the man I share a bed with or the little people who call me mom. It’s really that simple.

This time I am listening.