Your husband, father of your children, or baby daddy is not a “babysitter”

Written on September 23, 2011 by Kimberly in Church of Kim, Facebook, General, Kids, Marriage, On the Fence, Parenting, This Post May Be About You

7 Comments - Leave a comment!

Tonight after getting home from my daughter’s writing class I was on Facebook and in less than five minutes three different women posted to their statuses how much they appreciated their husbands baby sitting for them so they could go out or go to work.

My question to those three women and any other woman who makes similar statements is

WHAT THE FUCK?!?

The father of your children is not a babysitter, he is a PARENT. It is his responsibility as much as it is yours to care for the child(ren). If you have been lured into the lie that “he works” and that “you keep the home” then wake up sister, this is your moment of truth! Caring for your own child is not baby sitting, it is a responsibility that each man or woman took on when they agreed to bring a child into their life. The mother is no more temporary child care as a father is. It really makes me sick to see women demean the role of fatherhood by downplaying the importance of parenting to that of an underpaid job of a thirteen year old who can’t wait for the kids to go to bed so they can watch the television or text message all their friends about what brats you have.

If you are currently in a relationship with a man who views his role in parenting as sperm donor, discipline only, and as the occasional babysitter you are with a shithead. He sucks. Not only does he suck as a father, he sucks as a man. I don’t care how much he works, how much money he makes, or how well he treats you – if he views parenting as a part time gig that he only does when it is convenient for him or when he feels like it he is not a good father.

My children have a good father and I have high expectations as to what that entails. While for the majority of our parenting years I have been a non-working stay at home mother, there have been times that I have worked from home. For three years I owned my own business that I literally worked 60-80 hours a week while juggling kids in school and a baby on my breast who also required physical, occupational and speech therapy. Since January I have worked mostly from home. I host events all over the Gulf Coast that takes me away from home, but luckily I am able to take my children to work with me. I also homeschool my children and volunteer with women and children in crisis. However, let me make this clear – I am NO SUPER WOMAN no matter how much I joke about it. I am taking care of my responsibilities to my family because that is what I am supposed to do. The same applies to my husband, my partner, the father of my children. He shouldn’t be applauded for doing he is supposed to do.

I am told I am fortunate that Mr. K is an active father who from the beginning bathed butts, changed butts, and cooked and cleaned. I admit, I am lucky. However I except nothing less. If the man I laid down with did nothing but come home from work and did nothing but sit on his butt in front of a screen to watch TV or play video games I would quickly turn his ass out. If I had wanted to do it alone, I would have gone to a sperm bank. I also do not have the time to feed some man’s ego as being man of the house or be around someone who thinks their fair share is leaving the house nine hours a day and pulling in a pay check when they make messes, need to eat food, need laundry cleaned and want their dick sucked. Trust me when I say having sex at the end of a busy day is not high on the priority list of many women who spend their wheels 18 hours a day working, taking care of children, and taking care of a home. A man sitting in front of a screen, farting, and being lazy is not a turn on. Nor does he deserve the company of a woman.

I am tired of men with the attitude that they are owed something or should be applauded for taking care of their own children. Taking care of your own children is a responsibility, not some special favor you do for your wife or for your kids. I say grow up and be a real man instead of a boy locked in a perpetual state of immaturity who can do nothing more but think of himself and his needs rather than those around him.

So sisters – stop demeaning the role of fathers and if your baby daddy thinks his only contribution was the night he laid down with you maybe you need to be alone or with a real man. Just saying.

Diggdel.icio.usFacebookRedditStumbleUpon

7 Comments - Leave a comment!

What a weeks worth of meals for seven looks like…

Written on September 21, 2011 by Kimberly in Children, Food, General, Homeschooling Five

1 Comment - Leave a comment!

I am often asked “how do you feed that many people?” I think what they really want to know is “how much does it cost to feed that many people?”

It’s not a mystery that my grocery budget has grown by leaps and bounds, and if I do not menu plan my grocery bill grows and the quality of our food choices go down. Now that I work one of the things I have invested in is better quality food and more of it. While I spend a little more than I used too on food, I have found that the better quality leads to less waste. Meaning – more food goes in their bellies than in the trash can or on the floor.

Meal planning is crucial, especially now that I am a working mom. I am constantly on the go, often times with my kids in tow. Every week the kids have activities outside of their school work. My oldest daughter now takes classes in the evenings with other homeschooled teens two nights a week. We have co-op classes and clubs to attend too and I have events and meetings for work. There are even times that I have to put in classroom time. Without a plan in place I am sure that most of our meals would consist of deli foods and fast food which are not only expensive for a family of seven but the quality of the food is not very good.

These days I am buying organic milk, fresh eggs, and quality meat. I pick up my produce here and there, trying to keep as much as I can local and American grown. I still buy a lot of my staples from one of those large super stores that sells in bulk. However I will say that I have been ordering some things from Amazon and not only is it cheaper, it saves me a lot of time. I try to cut costs where I can, especially since I am unable to coupon like I was six months ago. I still keep the cost of our food reasonable and I have found that we spend the same or less than most families of four who are on the go.

Here is a sample menu for the next seven days. Breakfast on this menu is a little different because the kids are bored.

Breakfast:

Banana Chocolate Chip Bread with fruit
Breakfast casserole and toast
Cereal with Milk
Overnight Crockpot Oatmeal with fruit or chocolate chips
Eggs, Bacon, Grits and Toast
Cereal with Milk
Banana Nut Bread with fruit

Lunch:

Lunch at 4H
Black Beans and Rice with Sausage
Chicken Casserole with salad
Black and Bleu Burger with chips
Creamy chicken parmesan with mashed potatoes and green beans
Sandwiches and chips
Homemade Mac n Cheese

Dinner:

Quick and Easy Burritos
Oven fried chicken breasts, squash and zucchini, and potatoes
Pan fried flounder, baked potatoes, and green beans
***Open***
Pizza from Hungry Howies
Stuffed chicken breasts, salad, and bread
Beefy Nachos

Snacks and Treats:

Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Bread
Caramel Apples
Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Diggdel.icio.usFacebookRedditStumbleUpon

1 Comment - Leave a comment!

New Favorite Recipe: Chicken, Sausage, and Mushroom Alfredo

Written on September 20, 2011 by Kimberly in General

0 Comments - Leave a comment!

I cooked this recently for a mom who just had her fourth son! In the above picture my daughter and I made it with fettuccine but we now make it with bow tie pasta (easier to eat and portion out). This can also be done with shrimp. This recipe is perfect for a large family. Serve with french bread and salad.

Chicken, Sausage, and Mushroom Alfredo

1 box of bow tie pasta or one package of fettuccine noodles

1 jar of Classico Alfredo (if you like lots of sauce, I recommend buying a second and using another half jar)

2 chicken breasts, diced and cooked (substitute with 1.5 small or medium shrimp, sauteed)

1 package of portabella mushroom, diced into medium chunks

1 package of link sausage diced (we used pecan smoked beef sausage – for you pork lovers, I suggest something with good flavor and spice)

Salt and pepper chicken and bake in oven for 30 minutes at 375 degrees.

While chicken is baking cook diced sausage in frying pan. After it is good and browned put the sausage in a bowl. Do not drain fat out of frying pan and saute mushrooms. Saute for about 5 to 6 minutes and add to sausage.

Boil pasta. Pasta should take about 12-15 minutes. Put a little salt in the water but not too much.

In a large mixing bowl or pot but in pasta, chicken, sausage, and mushrooms and mix thoroughly with Alfredo sauce. I always add another half jar.

Pour mixture into 9×13 baking pan(s) sprayed with Pam or greased with butter.

Bake for 15 minutes at 375 degrees.

This could be made in a large batch and frozen to be baked later. (would need to be baked 30 minutes if frozen at 375)

Diggdel.icio.usFacebookRedditStumbleUpon

0 Comments - Leave a comment!

Savoring each moment

Written on September 20, 2011 by Kimberly in Food, General, Kids, Marriage

1 Comment - Leave a comment!

Mr. K and I took a much needed vacation. It is the first vacation that we have taken alone in fifteen years. We have escaped for a night here and there since having kids, but we always stayed within a hours drive and were easily accessible should we be needed. This time we traveled eight and a half hours away from home for five days with no Internet access and poor phone service – on purpose.

I won’t lie. I was a bit nervous leaving the kids behind even though we left them in capable hands. It is hard to let go of the routine, the chores, our responsibilities, but we did…and we almost didn’t want to come back.

We won’t lie – we love the Asheville/Hendersonville North Carolina area. Not only is it beautiful, with absolutely perfect weather, but our meals were divine. Everywhere we turned there was good, great tasting LOCAL food. It was really wonderful to really be in an area where people took buying local seriously. The meat we ate, the majority of the produce we consumed, and even the beer and wine we drank was locally produced.

Nearly every morning we stopped off at the Flat Rock Village Bakery. After going here several days in a row I felt completely spoiled. The pastries were wonderfully made with fresh ingredients and local produce, the coffee and lattes divine. I never wanted to go to another chain coffee place again.

Blueberry cream cheese danish and organic coffee. Delicious!

Chocolate Chip Scone – was perfect, not too sweet either

Drank this sitting on the back deck on a cool, fall morning before heading to Asheville.

After the year Mr. K and I have had it was really nice just being together. We slept in. Watched movies while drinking wine and eating chocolate. Plundered in local shops. Stopped along roadsides to explore and talked to strangers like old friends. We had no time constraints, no where to really go, no kids and no work deadlines. We think we will make great retirees… in another 25 years or so.

Downtown Historic Hendersonville during the Apple Festival

We often stopped and took pictures of church signs while driving through small town USA.

This was on the side of an old brick building that used to be a grocery store.

We visited the dead. I love a good cemetery.

What a great find in Brevard, NC at the Transylvania County 100th Birthday Bash! Yes, that is the car from Mayberry!!! Autographed picture from Don Knotts was in the back.

Saw this in Brevard – Is for all my Twisted Sistahs!

While in Brevard we stopped to eat at this place called the Hobnob Restaurant. Live jazz and bluegrass played on the front porch and everyone was enjoying food and drinks. The atmosphere was fantastic, the service was flawless, and the food – omg, the food – you haven’t eaten until you have eaten at the Hobnob. This was one of the few times I actually had wine with a meal. Mr. K enjoyed a local brew!

Just so you all know we didn’t just eat and drink the entire time we were gone. We actually did go hiking. Our plan is that by the time we go back to be able to do some long moderate hikes. We did several short, easy hikes – though I think the one up the mountain in the Pisgah National Forest to the waterfall was not so easy.

One of our favorite things that we did was drive along the Blueridge Mountain Parkway. It was cool and the leaves were already turning. It was a nice taste of fall.

I don’t think we will wait over a decade before going on a vacation alone again. It was good for us as individuals but it was really great for our marriage. We like each other, we are good friends and lovers, and it is healthy to really get that time away from being mommy and daddy. It was a nice break from our routine as parents and the hassles of our every day life. We highly recommend it.

Diggdel.icio.usFacebookRedditStumbleUpon

1 Comment - Leave a comment!

It’s okay to laugh, someone should

Written on September 18, 2011 by Kimberly in Children, General, Humor, Kids, Local Fare, Sex

3 Comments - Leave a comment!

I was going to post pictures of my vacation. I wanted to write about some of the things going on in politics right now or what Pat Robertson said this week about divorce but alas, I had no time. In fact right now I am barely sitting up right, completely exhausted, and just wishing for peace and quiet so that I can fall asleep before going kayaking tomorrow morning. However I am going to blog just a small smidgen of my week so you can get an idea of how crazy my life is right now.

Thursday I locked my keys in my car. I only have one key. And I had somewhere to go. My purse was also in the car. It took the guy thirty seconds to unlock my door and he took $40 of my money to do it.

Sadly this happened during the heat of the day and when I got into my car to run errands it smelled like dead fish. This is because on Wednesday I did an event at Fairhope Beach. We had a scavenger hunt. One of the things on the scavenger hunt was fish bones. My son’s scavenger hunt bag was in the car – full of the items he collected, including a half decayed fish.

That was Thursday.

Friday wasn’t so bad. Manageable.

This morning I got up early to lead a group of Fresh Air Family members for the Coastal Cleanup.

After having 5 hours of sleep.

Successful event. Two truckbeds of trash and I am pretty certain the kids with us will never litter. They found some interesting things – a female’s clothing, a mattress, a fire extinguisher, and condoms.

I can’t make this stuff up.

After the trash was unloaded and everyone ate….

I locked my keys in my car.

Again.

In less than 48 hours.

I am full of win. #winning

Did you know if you lock your keys in your car twice in the same week they will give you a discount?

They totally do.

I think it is called “pity for the stupid” discount.

While sitting in the heat waiting on said locksmith I got a phone call with disappointing news. There was a lot of whines and sad faces from the kids that were with me.

After the car was unlocked and we were on our way home. My sons begin to harass me to explain what condoms are and what they are used for.

So after we get home, I peed (for the first time in like 8 hours) and then Mr. K and I sit down the boys to explain what sex is and what condoms are used for.

One son was totally weirded out and giggled the whole time.

The other son was totally grossed out and said he was never going to do that. EVER. Then he asked if it was necessary for a penis to go in a vagina to have kids because he wanted to avoid that.

Draw your own conclusions.

Then I went to a certain craft store to pick up something for my event on Monday.

And I may have accidentally hit a very expensive car that was parked two feet over the line.

Let me say this may or may not have happened.

If it did happen, it was totally the other drivers fault that hogged two parking places at a busy craft store on a Saturday.

I’m just saying.

Diggdel.icio.usFacebookRedditStumbleUpon

3 Comments - Leave a comment!