I’m begging some of you to break up with your relationship status on Facebook. You know, that part of your profile that lets everyone know if you are Single, In a Relationship, Engaged, Married, Divorced, or It’s Complicated. Some things the public, your friends, and your family do not want to know. I am urging you to hide your drama, your immaturity, your spouse’s infidelity, your wife’s crazy and your girlfriend/boyfriend fights if you can’t keep your relationship status stationary for more than a few days, or weeks.
In August of 2008 I signed up for Facebook after getting sick and tired of MySpace. At the time I was told that Facebook was for a more mature audience and that I would see less drama and immature behavior on there. I should go back and kick that person’s ass for lying to me. At first, Facebook was exciting and new. I reconnected with old classmates and friends, there were games to play, and of course there was all this networking. I liked how easily information could be shared about local events and news and the nosy side of my personality indulged in reading every friend’s profile information and scrolling through their pictures. What I wasn’t prepared for was what people would do with their statuses and how they would go about announcing life changing events.
I will be the first to tell you that I do not have a problem, in general, with using your Facebook status to announce the wonderful or not so wonderful things in your life. I think that Facebook and Twitter have allowed us the freedom to get the information about birth, death, personal tragedy, and triumphs in a way that is actually beneficial. This is probably because I am the designated bearer of bad news in my family. I can’t even begin to explain to you how emotionally draining it was to call people during the time my brother was missing to the time his body was found. Or how for about a thirty-six month period of time if you got a call from me at your work or late in the evening it was not for social reasons but to let you know that yet another person was dead or dying. Facebook would have been an effective form of communication that would have consolidated the grueling hours of having to repeat the same depressing, heart wrenching details each and every time I made a phone call.
However, I believe that Facebook is not a place to air your dirty laundry when it comes to relationships. It is one thing to say you have had an argument with your significant other, it’s another when you accuse your partner of having an affair or call them a lying scum bag in your status. And yes, I have seen this happen more than once. It shows a lack of maturity on your part when you go from Single, to It’s Complicated, and back to In a Relationship within the same day or few days time. I wish I was talking about teenagers, young fools in love, but I am talking about thirty-something and forty-something old men and women behaving this way. There should be no wonder why half the marriages fail in this country or people can’t commit to one another and it’s called immaturity.
Over the last twenty months I have had several “friends” announce their divorces on Facebook. Several of these divorces came out of the blue with no real warning. One moment the friend would be posting pictures of their happy life and the next their divorce was in the works. Occasionally an explanation would follow, or down right slander against the other person. The status bar that was once updated with happy family outings or date nights was now being used as a way to air out dirty laundry. Seeing people behave this way makes me wonder what happened to their common sense and decency.
Worse than the divorce announcements though is the revolving door relationship status between Single and In a Relationship of those who are constantly breaking up and getting back together. Flickering on and off like a light I almost wonder why some of these people are trying to make their relationships work. It would be much easier for all your friends if you just constantly kept your status on It’s Complicated or maybe Facebook needs a new relationship status for those of you who can’t seem to keep your relationships on an even keel called Train Wreck.
There are some things you just shouldn’t use social media for and airing out all your relationship discord is one of them. Once you put something out there for the whole world wide web to see, or the few hundred friends you know on Facebook, it can’t be taken back. There may be legal and social implications you are not prepared for. The information you put out on social media sites could be used against you legally, especially in divorce cases that involve children. Don’t be so naive to think this doesn’t happen because I actually know two people who had pictures that were posted on social media websites brought in as evidence during custody hearings and another who posted a “note” about her soon-to-be ex that ended up on a judges desk. I know that sharing the going ons in your life can be very cathartic, as a blogger I completely get that, but some things should just be left behind closed doors.











