Beauty and Oil at Mile Marker Four

This past weekend I went to Fort Morgan to spend some RnR on the beach and to be lulled  to sleep by the crashing waves of the Gulf of Mexico. This was my first trip down there since the Deep Horizon tragedy and to see for myself what impact the oil spill has had on a beach that I have visited more times than I can count my last thirty-six years.

As I drove down Fort Morgan Road there was one thing that was clear, property rentals were down. I saw five times as many rental agency signs and vacancy signs than I have seen in the last few years. I usually encounter many people on the road, towing boats for fishing behind them as I make my way down to mile marker 4 but I did not see one. The Chevron that is normally full of big tank like sedans owned by snowbirds was nearly empty and the hot dog stand and the bait shop were no more.

When I got out of my van I did not smell oil, but I smelled the salt from the Gulf. The smell of the beach that I love filled my nostrils and I was glad that I was there. I was still debating if I would let my kids play in the water or even play on the sand and was thankful that the house we were at had a pool and that under the house was plenty for them to play with. We unloaded our stuff and then I stood out on the porch and looked out over the beach.

It was breathtaking. From where I stood, on the porch, the beach was beautiful and the water was calm. In fact, the Gulf was gently rolling onto the shore, and it was a clear blue-green color. It looked like perfection. A perfect end to summer days on the beach.

Then in the distance you see oil rigs. Even though they have been there for years, in the past they have been ignored. I really had not paid that much attention to them. During the day you were too focused tanning on the beach or splashing in the water to notice and at night they were just beacons of light. Not only were there rigs but also huge barges that even the BP workers, who were constantly driving up and down the beach, did not know what they were there for. Some days we counted four, and others five. These barges came and went but were always present during our stay.

The first day we were there I did not see any oil in the Gulf. At least not from the from the edge in which I stood, but it was in the sand, burried, only to be unearthed by scooting feet of those of us sitting in chairs or by little kids digging in the sand with their shovels. The tarballs look like cat poop in a litter box without the smell. But don’t get me wrong, they do smell, and if you get the oil on your hands or feet or skin at all you have to do a great deal of scrubbing to remove it.

Right now if you were to get into the Gulf I am not so sure oil should be your biggest concern. The sharks are bad and they come in close to feed. The friends we were staying with had video of a shark that was in the water that was less than knee deep. The stingarays will come even farther in to feed and getting stung by one is not pleasant. And let me not forget about the flies. The flies at times were so thick, and they bite, leaving huge whelps on your skin and even drawing blood.

While we were there we spent very little time down on the beach. We mostly stayed up on the deck where the pool was. The heat was unbearable at times over the weekend. In fact it was stifling. In the past five years that we have visited the beach at this time of the year we have not encountered heat like this. So between the oil and the heat there was not many beach goers though the few I did see did go into the water but their jots out were short. In fact, my boys, did go into the water a few times but they were not in it long and when they came out they didn’t have any oil or residue on them that I could see.

The last full day we were there though the Gulf was like glass. It hardly moved. It was so calm it was like bath water and you could see clear to the bottom. It was so perfect and tempting that I finally grabbed me a float and decided to venture out into it. It was low tide and I must have walked 30 yards out until it finally reached waist height. Then I laid on my float and tried to relax and then it was like I was in the midst of a giant BP dump in the sea.

There was oil everywhere, in clumps and also stringy and runny looking patches all around me. It stuck to my float and it stuck to me and it came up all the sudden. The oil, that in days past we had not seen in the Gulf, was there in a large amount, as if someone had just dumped buckets of it at that very moment. If you are a parent, you may have had one of those times when you were bathing your babies or toddlers and they pooped in the water and you saw either a runny mess or turds floating around your baby that you were trying to wash clean and you get grossed out and panick, pulling your baby up out of the shit filled water. That is how I felt in the Gulf, 30 yards from the shore on Sunday morning at mile marker 4 as I made my way to the shore.

How do you do what you do? That is a very good question!

Today I am participating in a meme put on by Laurin Evans titled “Bloggers at Work – How do you do what you do?” Please join other bloggers today in telling us the how, what, and where of blogging.

If you are new here, Welcome! I thought it would be good to tell you a few things about myself before you read where and when I blog and tweet. I am a homeschooling mother of five children, so I almost exclusively blog from my home. I am also married to the infamous Mr. K, who has only read my blog ONCE and does not understand my need to journal online. I’ve not worked a “real job” in sometime except for working a few events with my friend Jen who is an event planner, but over the past thirteen years of being a stay-at-home mom I have owned my own business which I ran, you guessed it, from home.

Taken last night, this is my view often when I blog.

Right now I am blogging from my sofa in the family room while my two boys do their grammar and writing assignments. Instead of a desk, I am using the coffee table, that is piled with various books, papers, and thingamagigs. This is typically when I blog or tweet – while homeschooling my kids. I have realized that a large part of homeschooling here is more supervisory than actual teaching. The teaching time is short,  instruction minimal, but the waiting and keeping kids on task lengthy so I fill that time with reading, writing, and tweeting. I also blog at night, when the kids are in bed and I have less interruptions. The down side of writing while also educating your children is that it is hard to keep your thoughts on track. (note I have been sitting here an hour and have been  interrupted no less than 30 times) Sometimes I just open up a post and type out a few thoughts to string together at a later time in the day.

I’m not unlike other writers/bloggers. I need to have my “stuff” while writing. Coffee is essential. If I am not drinking coffee, I am drinking Dr. Pepper. I also usually write in a t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants. I can’t think of a time I have actually blogged in pair of jeans or slacks or even a dress. I have blogged naked though. I like to write with my hair pulled back. I find it flopping around my face a distraction but now my hair is too short to pull back. It is at that horrible length where it is a complete nuisance. Currently I blog on my daughter’s laptop that is very temperamental, but I am hoping to have that rectified soon. I miss my desktop, I miss sitting at my desk even though the laptop does provide me with the ability to read and write from just about anywhere, including the garage that is now a craft/school/play room. I’m almost always listening to music either on Slacker or Pandora since I gave up my Rhapsody subscription. Most the time I am listening to women’s folk music or Indie style music. I tend to write best when listening to Tori Amos or Ani Difranco, I am not sure why. Often when I am stuck in my writing they are the first two artists I play and it’s not long before the words start pouring out.

Yes that is a garage door and a bicycle behind the couch!

There is really no rhyme or reason to my blogging. Sometimes I feel inspired to write about something that has been on my mind or to talk about the mundane things going on in our life. At times I blog about issues that mean a great deal to me while at other times I have written about things going on in this community. This blog is a hodge podge of entries that have no direction. I would love to cut out time to write each day that would be uninterrupted but I can’t even get a twenty minute bath without being disturbed. So for now, my thoughts will be written in various states of dress, from various places in the house, as I sip coffee and answer a million and one questions from my inquisitive children.

Productive

We spent our three day weekend decluttering, cleaning and organizing various parts of the house but mainly our craft/play/school room. It’s nothing fancy. Actually it’s our garage which is quite big. We put in an air conditioner a few years ago, painted and carpeted it in hopes to give us more breathing room since our house seemed to be getting smaller and smaller the bigger our five children became. Over the past six months or so it has gotten totally out of control in there with toys and junk and unfinished projects so it was time to do something about it.

I am so happy with the results. We moved the furniture around, divided the room into sections, giving the computer and craft areas definition and added a new to us leather sofa that a friend of mine gave us. We definitely needed more seating simply because we plan to be having lots of get togethers at our house over the next few months. I got rid of so much stuff and now that I have no uterus I could safely giveaway all those baby items I had stored away too. I have a pile of stuff to go back to friends as well. It is amazing to me the things we collect from our friends and family through the years.

I’ve yet to set up the sewing area the way I want it but I am making progress. I hated to weed out my fabric stash but I did and I can’t wait to get started sewing on  fall projects and also to make some extra money over the next few months. I did manage to finish organizing all our homeschool books and supplies which will hopefully make things easier for all of us.

Even though we didn’t go to any barbeques or have people over this weekend, it was good just to be all together, getting things done and making our lives just a little bit more functional and hopefully easier.

Mundane with Friday Fill-Ins

Yesterday was Mr. K’s fortieth birthday. We kept things low key, no party, though I really wanted to be able to throw one. Instead we have decided to throw a Halloween Party with friends of ours here at the house which he seems to prefer anyway. The planning has commenced and I’ve already started working on the menu. I am sure I will be posting more about this in the coming weeks because my friend Jason has these GRAND ideas and decorations he wants to do. It looks like the craft room is going to be getting some good use this fall between this party and the holidays.

I look forward to spending the majority of the next few days here at home. It seems like for the last few weeks we have been going, going, going. I have things I need to do here and I really need to clean out the attic. I am thinking of doing a garage sale, even though I personally hate the planning of one. It’s just easier to get rid of stuff. Whatever I do, I see lots of trips to the local Goodwill in my future.

This month we are going on a four day weekend to the beach. The opportunity came unexpectedly, but we are happy to be getting away. I plan on doing some exploring, talking to some locals about the oil spill and clean up and taking some pictures. I am hearing reports that parts of the beach are cleaner than others so we shall see. I just need time to relax and I plan on not taking our laptop. I will have my phone but I doubt I will have data service out there. Who knows, I may end up packing it just because I might get the opportunity to do some writing. (doubt it) Plus unplugging makes me nervous now, being on the net is such a huge part of my life.

This past week I drove past my old school and saw a for sale sign on it. It is completely abandoned and is completely grown up. It really bothered me to see the school in such disrepair. I have so many good, and some bad, memories there. Ever since I drove by though I have dreamed about being at the school each night. It is really creeping me out.

ffi

Happy Labor Day weekend to all who celebrate it. And…here we go!

1. Family should not stay with you any longer than three days or else it is like dealing with stale fish.

2. The kids tend to be fighing back and forth.

3. I love a big cup of coffee with a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

4. Oven fried pecan crusted chicken, sweet potato casserole, and a garden salad makes a good meal.

5. I’ve got the sewing bug.

6. This woman died trying to spy on her boyfriend, she died inside his fireplace: wth!!!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I’m looking forward to a spontaneous evening – who knows what we will do, tomorrow my plans include moving a sofa into my garage and decorating for fall and Sunday, I want to sleep in, if that is even possible with five kids!

To you, I am Nobody

Yesterday’s post got a lot of traffic and I am glad, not because I give a rat’s ass about the numbers, but because I wanted people to take notice of the abuse that often takes place in the blogging/twitter community when you have developed a certain amount of fans and popularity. We have seen it before, but this time it wasn’t over calling someone a bitch or over appliances, it was about mothers and one of those mothers who in June lost her son who was attacked for something really inconsequential.

I got less than a dozen emails from anonymous supporters of The Feminist Breeder, not ONE had a real email address. Not ONE person posted a comment to the blog entry to say that I was a bully, hateful, and jealous. Unlike some bloggers I do not delete comments that disagree with me. I have ONE person blocked from commenting on this blog because they threatened my children. I believe that in order to be authentic, the good must be taken with the bad when I post publicly on the Internet. I also don’t see disagreeing with me as an attack on my character so there is no reason not to allow differing opinions to stand in the comments.

Someone emailed me that I was being a bully for calling Gina out. Really?  REALLY? Let me tell you, for months I have read this woman’s blog, who I don’t necessarily disagree with, be completely ugly to her readers, even fans blocking them for simply disagreeing with her and single out mothers, in moments of grief and weakness, and publicly decimate them. To be an objective advocate for women in matters concerning birth, breastfeeding and PPD you don’t lead off by calling them liars, tearing down their personal experiences, and telling them how they are wrong when they have lost their babies, unable to breastfeed, suffer from PPD, or nearly lost their lives. This actually boils down to maturity or lack thereof and character. If you are going to pontificate on the Internet for being a feminist and women’s advocate than show good judgment and compassion.

I was also written that this was a matter of speaking out against violence against women. To that I say, are you fucking kidding me? In no way was Gina in harms way nor was she threatened. How many times a day do we hear people say “I want to kill that person” or “I just could slap that person in the face”? Dozens! This doesn’t mean that these people are setting out to commit murder or violence against another. It means you are frustrated or that someone is acting like an ass monkey that needs to be taken to task. It is a FIGURE OF SPEECH. It isn’t much different than what Gina said about hating her child – she really doesn’t hate her son but was frustrated and hormonal. Making claims that this was to call out someone for being violent is disrespectful to the thousands of women, men and children who suffer at the hands of physical violence. If you are wanting to brand yourself as an advocate for women, discernment in matters that deeply affect women, like domestic violence, would be prudent. You can’t ask for compassion and understanding and then not lend it out yourself.

I got a few emails saying I was jealous of The Feminist Breeder. Umm, NO. This is not the first time I have gotten emails saying I was jealous of other bloggers. I am not sure what I am supposed to be jealous of. I turn down advertisement opportunities on my blog frequently. I turn down free stuff because that is not why I blog. On occasion I might accept something but it will only be under the understanding that I get to be one, completely honest and two, that no one tells me how and what to write. I do have tinges of envy but it has nothing to do with popularity or monies being made off blogging. I often wish I had a house decorated like The Nester, photography skills like Secret Agent Mama, or the juggling skills of The Pioneer Woman. I admire the writing skills of many but I think of those people as those I aspire to be like, not become.

Lastly, someone wrote to  me that I was a nobody looking to be somebody. When you look at the blogosphere and all the multi-talented, multi-purposed blogs available to read – well this person was correct, I am a nobody. I get about 3000 unique hits per month, I have yet to attend a big conference, I have not been offered a car, a free trip, or a book deal. I am just a mother, a wife, a woman, a writer, and by trade a seamstress. I write on the Internet because I want too. Sometimes this nobody will write something that effects somebody in a positive way or will let them know they are not alone. I am not writing to be the only voice or the loudest for any one purpose. And while I love all the people I have become friends with and met through blogging and being on Twitter, I also know that the only people I have to be a somebody too, are the people who call me mommy and wife.