Ordained Dragon Slayer and other Random Thoughts

“Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” – G.K. Chesterton

In the past two months I have resigned two jobs that I deeply cared about and enjoyed doing. I will let your mind run wild as to all the reasons why. Since I am now officially unemployed I can now fill the empty hours of my day giving more attention to my ministrative duties since I am an ordained pastor. And because I am not busy enough homeschooling five children and running the Church of Kim I have decided to do some contract work as a dragon slayer. I am fully qualified for this type of work considering I have a double edged sword and have vast experience dealing with dragons with forked tongues.

Right now someone is getting their panties in a wad thinking this post is about them.

Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.

I was recently told that the banner image for my blog is pornographic. If my banner was classified as pornography the GOP would likely want to see it banned. I might need a blog redo in case a Republican wins the next election. Since I am unemployed anyone want to barter dragon slaying for a blog redesign?

Whitney Houston is dead. It is a tragedy. There really is no need to compare this death to those of soldiers or other people who have died to try to discount people’s grief. We all make mistakes and we all fall short. It is opportunistic and disrespectful to get on a soap box and brow beat others.

Recently I ordered AT&T U-verse. We haven’t had regular television in our house for two years and since it is an election year and the price was right I figured we would subscribe. Today I got the date for the installation and it was 12/21/2036. When I spoke to the customer service agent on the phone I let him know that I really wanted to have my higher speed internet and “cable” television before I turned 62. He didn’t find what I said amusing. There was not even a snicker. It must have been the language barrier between us because “Bob” had very poor English.

Chris Brown beat a woman. BEAT. I am still amazed how in our real day to day lives and in that of the celebrity world people tend to look over domestic violence and easily forgive it.

Have I said how much I love my iPhone lately? I do.

Today is Valentine’s Day. Instead of spending money on trinkets and flowers and an over priced meal, Mr. K and I planned out three months of dates and two weekends away from the kids. Three of the dates are already paid for as are the two weekends away. It is good to have all five kids at an age where we can get away without any guilty and a lot less worry.

 

 

 

Still Learning

One of life’s lessons that I attempt to teach my children comes from Maya Angelou.  “When people show you who they are, believe them.” The reason I emphasize attempt is because I am still learning this lesson myself. It is a hard lesson to learn. I know that I am constantly challenging it. I get it in my head that I am in some way special or different, or can do something to change how someone will treat me even though I am aware of how they treat others. I can rattle off a dozen relationships that I have had over the past twenty-five years as an example of my failure to “get it”.

Sadly, I think we are programmed to believe that we can change people. From an early age we are told if we are polite enough and pretty enough we will get treated a certain way. Children are programmed at home, school and church that if you do XYZ then you will be respected, treated fairly, etc. The bottom line is that we cannot control other people. We cannot make them treat us fairly or justly. We cannot make someone love us or even respect us. My mother once told me that she had danced as fast as she could to please my biological father, keep his volatile temper at bay, and keep his love but that she had failed. Even years after their marriage had ended she still had this notion that her external behavior could change what was in his heart.

I will be the first to tell you that when we love other people we should do so without conditions. I know that I am grateful for those who love me just as I am. I do think though we have to be careful not to be blinded by that love and loyalty. This is the trap I often fall in. I tend to ignore glaringly obvious character flaws that may potentially hurt me or my family. For example, if someone has a history of being verbally abusive it is unlikely they will not be verbally abusive to you. It may not happen right away but eventually a situation will present itself where you will become a victim of a verbal assault. The same goes for bullies. If you are in a relationship with a bully and disapprove of how they treat others don’t be deluded into thinking that you will not end up being their next victim.

Over the past two years I have seen this life lesson play out in not only my life but in those around me. While I have encouraged others to recognize people for who they are and either accept them at their word and/or move on from it, I was busy traveling my own road of denial. I was ignoring what people were showing me about their character, I wasn’t believing people when they showed me over and over again who they were. It shouldn’t have been any surprise to me when I was treated exactly as I had seen them behave but I was. I was hurt and angry and threw myself a pity party.

I wish I could tell all of my readers that I now “get it” but the truth of the matter is that I am likely to make this mistake again. I am relieved to have some clarity and the reminder to trust those around me for showing me exactly who they are.

When a Wrong Is a Right

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.  ~H.G. Wells

 

At eighteen I worked as an assistant manager of a steak house. I got the job because I was pretty and the boss had other ideas in mind for me. While I did have experience working for the food industry I knew nothing about managing people or running a restaurant. I caught on quickly. I spent my days learning the ends and out of the steak house and trying to avoid be sexually harassed. If it had not been for the owner I would have enjoyed my job.

Like many restaurants there is an ebb and flow and you have to really manage your food cost and labor costs. There were times when business was just not good. In December of that year our steak house went into a slump. The owner had bought more meat than we needed because he had predicted we would be extremely busy during the holiday season. Due to having to buy a minimum amount of meat on a regular basis to get the best prices, the cooler filled with meat. For two solid weeks we sent out lunch specials to area businesses, offered holiday catering, and daily specials but even with all of that we still had a freezer full of meat. You can imagine what happened. After awhile the unsold meat began to decay and rot in the cooler.

One particular Sunday morning the owner of the steak house came in ranting and raving about the operation expenses and the rotting meat that I was about to throw out. He ordered me to marinate the meat and sell it to the public. I questioned him and showed him steaks with color rings and chicken breasts that smelled like rotting flesh. “SELL IT! I said to FUCKING SELL IT!” He yelled at me. Not wanting to lose my job I began dumping the meat into marinating pans and pouring spices and Worcestershire sauce on it. Moments later the owner rushed out the door to church. (yes, you read that correctly)

As the morning progressed I began to get more and more concerned about selling the rotting meat to the public. I started to think about old people or children eating the bad meat. I thought about how we made daily deliveries to the local hospital and what might happen if an already sick person ate rotten meat. And then I made a decision. I made the decision to move the bad meat to the back of the freezer, get the unopened fresher meat out and sell it instead.

The next day I was off from work and instead of going shopping at the mall with my boyfriend at the time we went down to the health department and I reported my boss. At first they didn’t believe me. They thought I was a disgruntled employee seeking revenge on my employer but somehow I was able to convinced them that I was serious. A few hours later I sat in my car parked across the street and watched as the health inspector took the rotten meat out of the back of the restaurant and poured bleach all over it while my boss looked on. He was also given a hefty fine. As you can imagine when I showed up for my next shift I was fired from my job.

I’ve never regretted what I did. I knew what the potential consequences would be for my actions even though I was out on my own and it was Christmas time. Getting fired or get black balled in the restaurant industry was not what was in the fore front of my mind, making people sick was.

Now I am sure some of you are scratching your head thinking “What is so wrong with that?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

However, I have done things, bad things, in order to do the right thing. I am not going to deny it. I will not tiptoe through a field of self righteousness and pretend to be something I am not. I am not going to act coy or play dumb because that is not me. Anyone who knows me knows that I am authentic, and I do not shirk from the truth. When my husband and I went through the homestudy process I was candid and I hid nothing. There was no reason not to be honest. Your life is either a work of fiction or non-fiction and I have chose the latter. Life is too short for living a life of hypocrisy. Our character and our actions have to speak for themselves and the biggest problem I see in our society is people pretending to be something they are not.

We all have our secrets. I have few. Mr. K I am sure knows them all. He knows my flaws, and trust me there are many. He also knows my sincere desire to do what is right, to serve others, and to protect people I care about. He warns me often how sometimes that will get me in to trouble. My loyalty and love for my friends and family is far reaching, as it should be.

Right and wrong is not always cut and dry. I teach my children to tell the truth, I don’t teach them not to ever lie. There is a difference. Sometimes we have to lie to protect people, or ourselves from danger. I teach my children that we should not solve our problems through violence, but I don’t tell them not to ever hit anyone. There may come a time when they have to hit someone to protect themselves or someone else. There are times when we decide to do something, something we know is wrong, knowing there can be negative consequences to our actions. Sometimes it is worth it. The consequences are acceptable if what we did was the right thing to do. To some what appears to be wrong superficially is right in the heart. The key is discernment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Project – Turning the formal dining room into a reading room

Yesterday I bought something on Craigslist for the first time. For the last month I have been stalking the furniture listings knowing that many people would be getting new furniture for Christmas and cleaning out due to resolutions. Some of the “great” condition pieces of furniture were far from it and that was just from looking at the pictures. Being on a tight budget to convert our formal dining room into a reading/sitting room kept me determined, or more or less made me a Craigslist stalker of sorts. On Sunday after hitting the refresh button way too many times I came across a listing that said “Help me keep my new year’s resolution” and there was a picture of these beauties.

The price $225 for both. I knew I had hit the jackpot. I contacted the poster immediately, praying they were not some crazed killers or into a cult looking for new members. After hearing back plans were made to go see them, with Mr. K of course, the next day. When we got their the couple were as normal as you and me and as nice as they could be. The sofa and loveseat  combo were perfect for our project and the right price – SOLD! Thanks to friends who helped us haul them back to the house an hour later.

I have a lot of ideas swirling in my head for this room in the house and Mr. K is letting me and my gay boyfriend have complete creative control. I am hoping in the next few days the accent color on the walls will be on. A beautiful and bright blue teal or turquoise. We’ve been getting our design inspiration from Pinterest, of course.

One of the things we are planning on doing is making a rug for this room from old t-shirts. I’m pretty sure we have totally lost our minds but since I have more time (LOL) than I have money at this juncture, plus it would be totally cool, we have decided to make this attempt. Inspiration came from this t-shirt latch hook rug tutorial. So over the next few weeks spray paint will be my friend and I will be visiting garage and estate sales this side of the Mississippi state line in search of interesting and cool accent pieces and hopefully some large pieces of furniture to store all our crap books and games in like this piece below.

As this projects progresses don’t be surprised if I begin begging my readers to send me their old teal and turquoise t-shirts for the rug.

Starting the new year off right

January is going to be a month of reading and reconnecting. Over the past several months the kids and I have spent way too much time in front of our screens and not enough time outside, being crafty, or having our noses in books. We are going to be restricting our time online and from playing electronic games to doing things the old fashion way.

One of the things I will be working on is bread making. I am determined to become a bread baker! I have failed miserably over the years but with some help from my friend Stacey I think I can overcome my brick style loaves and crispy crusts.

My oldest son Dylan has really taken an interest in cooking and baking so we have decided to feed his interests. I am incorporating cooking into his schooling which I think will really help him. He learns better when he can apply math and science to real life. I also think this is a skill that he can perfect and eventually do for work. I want my kids to do what they enjoy, that will give them the lifestyle they desire.

Our youngest son Jack will be getting headgear and braces on Wednesday. I am nervous. He will have to be in it a year and will need to wear it 16-18 hours a day. He has had some serious jaw issues over the last few months and I am thankful for good insurance and the ability to save the money up to pay for this.

Time seems to be passing too quickly. I am about to be a mother of a fifteen year old, who will be learning how to drive! It seems like yesterday she was five and going off to kindergarten. Now she is a young woman. Who I might add has the perfect figure. She is now a sophomore in high school.

It’s those little girls I am afraid that are going to do me in. The four year old is a total flirt and already chasing boys and the six year old is more like me than I care to admit. I will be spending the next few months getting them both to read. I’m also busy planning a fifth birthday party for Kara, who keeps changing the theme. She also wants a dog which is absolutely not going to happen.

Odd confession for the first of the year: When I do searches on the internet, especially on odd topics or subject matter, I wonder if they will ever be used against me in a court of law.

Project Goals For January:

Paint Living Room

Paint accent color in new reading room

Heavy duty cleaning in laundry room, organization, and painting

Finish pajama pants

Create Banging Wall in back yard on the fence

Decorate for Valentine’s Day

Homeschooling Goals: (this doesn’t encompass everything we do, just the ones there will be more focus on)

Reading and Fluency

Writing a book report

Application of money skills in real life

Journal Writing

Date Plans:

Go to museum and picnic in the park

Bowling

Afternoon Hike

Treasure Hunt