Yep, I’m moving. It won’t be for a few more weeks but yeah, I’m moving. Probably some of you suspected it. Things are just a little cramped over here. No, I am not talking about moving from my house! Even though things are cramped here with five kids, it’s Beautiful Wreck that is moving to it’s own domain.

I am so very excited and the fantastical Caitlin of Mommy Geekology 2.0 and Rent A Geek Mom is helping with the move. What am I saying, she is doing the entire thing by herself!!! Not only is she packing all the bags, moving all the breakables, including the pictures, I am having her decorate the new place too! I’m pretty excited.

I’ll be letting you know when the last little bit is done so you can come over for a housewarming party. You will be coming, won’t you?

Because I like to be a good sport and I am so honored that I was nominated twice this week for the same award, I am going to pass it on!

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award. ( Thank you Jenn and Sara!)
2. Copy the award and place in on my blog. (Done and Done)
3. Link to the person who nominated me. (My Party of 5 and Princess Prose)
4. Share 7 interesting things about yourself.
5. Nominate 7 other beautiful bloggers.

I’m going to try and share seven interesting things that I have never shared before with all of you. This might be difficult.

1) I sold a diaper bag and all the matching accessories to Sharon Stone. While on the phone with me discussing her order her son threw up his food.

2) When we built this house I picked all the floors, paint, cabinets in light colors, most of it being white. We had one child at the time and I liked the clean feel it gave me. Ten years and five kids later I have changed my thoughts on that and there is lots of color, no more white carpet, but there is nothing I can do right now with the white cabinets and white sink that is the kitchen. I hate it and it always looks dirty.

3) I dream about having a beautiful landscaped yard. I have a black thumb and my yard looks trashed 90% of the time. The home owner’s association hates me.

4) I drink milk right from the carton. Don’t tell anyone. It totally pisses Mr. K off. If I know we are having company I run to the store and buy a new gallon of milk. (I bet I lose followers over this one)

5) I have never seen Schindler’s List, nor do I ever care too.

6) I am not athletic but I taught my brother how to pitch, including throwing a knuckle ball, and how to hit a baseball. The last year he played baseball he was no. 3 in the state and as much as I loved spending time at the ball park when I was younger I am not a ball park mom and none of our kids play.

7) I really want to live on a homestead, I just don’t think I am cut out for the work it involves.

And now I give out the award to:

1 – I would like to give this award to Twenty Four At Heart. Damn I love that gal and her bionic nipples. She makes even the sucky things in life funny plus takes fabulous pictures.

2 – Another favorite of mine is Erin who writes A Beatnik’s Beat On Life. I believe she is like a phoenix that has risen from the ashes and has turned into an incredibly beautiful person.

3 – I have met her in real life and she is just as delightful and beautiful in person and that is Becca, who writes A Southern Garden By Becca. She totally has a green thumb, an adorable dog, and a fantastic spirit. If you are into gardening you should check out her blog, she has a green thumb!

4 – I have yet to meet her in person but for nearly 13 years I have admired her and loved her like a sister. Full of wisdom as a mom and as feisty as I am who isn’t afraid to say it like is, I give this award to MomUnscripted.

5. This next blogger I love because she is crafty and full of grace and that is PrairieMama. I would love to spend a day sewing with her.

6. This next blogger is funny and fabulous to read. I adore her writing and her header – meet Stacie of Stacie’s Madness.

7. I love reading this mom’s blog because she is unlike me. The only thing we may have in common is that we have more than 1.8 kids and we like to sew. A strong advocate for her son and talented with a camera we have Karen of The Rocking Pony. You have to check out her Etsy Store too!

I’ve been having insomnia, again. Once I do finally fall asleep it is not good sleep. I toss and turn and wake over and over again. When I don’t sleep I watch all kinds on late night television. I am convinced that the P90X infomercials are using brain washing techniques to have you order their product and that those ladies who host the sex toy infomercials are doing some kind of drugs because they just seem to damn calm with big ass cheesy grins while holding bright purple dildos.

Today I got an excellent compliment about Dylan from one of the neighbors. While some parents may not put much stock in compliments I do when it comes to my bipolar kid. She said he was sweet and polite and that her kids enjoyed playing with him. This is very good news to me and makes me feel like that with all my failures parenting this child that I have somehow got something right along the way. For those parents who have children with mental illness it is a big deal when their kids can go out into the world and make friends and live normally.

I am convinced that my laundry is breeding.

One of Tiger Wood’s whores is now claiming she got pregnant with his babies but had a miscarriage and then an abortion. The reason she claims she is coming out with this information is because she is so hurt she was not the only one, besides his wife, and that he had all these other mistresses. I am not sure what is wrong with these sluts but get a clue! The man was married does it really matter if he was cheating on you with other women?

Also, the woman turned man is pregnant for a third time. It weirds me out but it doesn’t effect my life and they are probably better parents than most out there.

Now that you have read my random, please head on over to The UnMom’s for more.

Remember that last post for Girl Talk Thursday in which I talked about how I was afraid too fly? Well after this weekend and the ejection of Kevin Smith from Southwest Airlines I am even more afraid to fly. Not because I am afraid one of their planes will plummet to the ground or that one of their pilots will be drunk flying through the sky but that I might get told I am too fat to fly.

I’ve flown before, and actually the times I flew before I was at my highest weight. I was afraid then that I would not fit in the seat (I did) and that I might have to have an extender placed on my seat belt (I didn’t) but that was pre 9-11. Since then airlines have become more strict with their policies and ever craftier with charging passengers more and more money. I can’t even fathom the shame and embarrassment someone might feel after being asked to get off a plane because of their weight and I really do not want to find out.

I’ve been looking at pictures all morning of Kevin Smith. There is no doubt he is a big guy but he isn’t so big that he would infringe upon another person’s space on an airplane. The comments I’ve read on Twitter about being too fat to fly and on Southwest Airline’s blog are so cruel I feel afraid to even leave my house today as a fat person. So don’t worry size bigots, I’ll be keeping my fat ass at home and on the ground.

Something just isn’t right with me. I’m writing this while I have yet another hot flash. I know what this means for me and I don’t like it one bit.

I’ve decided I need a muse. I feel like my inspiration is gone and I am having trouble writing.

I read today that Jon Gosselin would like to settle his court case with TLC by letting his children go back on the air. First, I don’t think he should have imposed the conditions of not showing them on the air to begin with and second, I think he is a douche bag for now “allowing” to let the kids go back on television to make his legal and financial troubles go away.

I am not a huge football fan but I did watch the Saints play on Sunday night! Wow! What a game that was! It was very exciting and fun to watch with Mr. K. I was really impressed with how both teams conducted themselves on the field but also the Colts coach, Jim Caldwell, who was so gracious and well spoken. He came across as a very humble human person.

Today I read this post by Cecily about her experience at Blissdom. I really want some of you to go read it, especially if you love Jesus.

I’ve been cleaning out my craft/school/play room this week. I am surprised at how much stuff I put in the van to give away to charity. I also have bags of clothes to give away to other people and even some to mail out. Now that I no longer have a uterus I feel pretty confident that I can give away my baby stuff and not have to worry about ever needing it again!

I’m still burning up so I have to go now and stand outside naked. Its a good 45 degrees with a breeze so that should work well for me.

Before you leave be sure to go over to The UnMom and check out more Random Tuesday Thoughts. They will be more exciting than mine this week I guarantee!

This post is part of Girl Talk Thursday. I’m just a little late, don’t judge me. Check out the other participants and find out what they are afraid of!

It might be surprising to some of you that there are things I am scared to do. In fact I have a lot of fears and anxiety about many things in life but I force myself to do them because I am most afraid of wasting my life. My mother was one that lived in fear of experiencing new things and going new places. She stayed close to the house, kept the same friends, and didn’t take many adventures. Because of her fears she missed out on so much and now I try to do the exact opposite, yet there are still some things I am still afraid of.

Flying

I just don’t hate to fly, I am afraid to fly. I have flown four times in my life and all four times were in connection to adopting our second child. One of the things about flying is the fact that if you do crash, you are most likely to die. Not only does crashing bother me but also the crowds at the airport, losing luggage, and all the check points and security you have to go through. Lines. I don’t like lines either. So the whole thing just totally freaks me out. If I go to BlogHer this year, I will be flying. Drugs will be involved.

Walking or Driving Over Piers/Bridges With Water Underneath

I love the water but piers and bridges scare me. Nothing gives me anxiety like driving over a long bridge with roaring waters beneath, even a lazy river underneath seems like a death trap. This stems from when I was a little girl my grandmother drove the back of her Delta 88 off the back of the docks with me in the backseat. Luckily some man saw what happened and saw the car teeter tottering off the side of the dock and was able to get some machinery to pull the car back onto the pier completely. While my fear comes from the fear of drowning, it also comes from being trapped as well.

Being Left Out

This is a big one to me. I am really afraid of being left out of social situations and outings with others. I don’t like to be ignored and I strive to be liked. I prefer one on one or small groups because of this. I actually have a friend who one time said to me “I meant to ask you to go but I forgot”, nothing hurts my feelings more. Though I come across as though my give a damn is broke I’m really quite insecure. Now you know how to mortally wound me.

General Anesthesia

You may have already guessed this since I had a total abdominal hysterectomy awake. People often ask me why I chose to do it awake verses being put to sleep. The simple answer is that I am scared to death of being knocked unconscious and unwillingly/willingly allow people to do God knows what to me while I am in that state. I guess I have watched way too many medical horror stories and read too many books about medical mistakes in my life. What it really boils down to is the loss of control.

And that is what I am really afraid of – loss of control, completely trusting other people with my heart, my soul and my physical well being.

Today my oldest daughter, Elizabeth is thirteen.

I am thankful, that my first child that is turning into a teenager is more like her father, than like me. So is Mr. K. There is plenty more kids to torture us and give me payback in a few years.

I’m ready for spring. I am over the cold or the yo-yo weather we are having down here in the deep south. Our sinuses can’t take it. My head hurts. I am cold one minute and hot the next. Okay, maybe that is the hormones but I can blame it on the weather. I am sick of the rain mostly. Where is a drought when you need one? We have had so much rain my backyard is like a swamp and the kids cannot go out there and play in mud. Well, they could, but I would have to clean it up. So that damn rodent, you know the groundhog Phil, saw his shadow today which means that winter will be six weeks longer. No early spring for us. I think we should kill Phil and replace him with a more reliable varmint.

Well it appears that a perfect woman has been created for man. Roxxxy, the first sex robot, will soon be on the market. My friend TwentyFour At Heart has given us the run down on Roxxxy. Most likely cheaper than a real woman, she only costs $7,000. However guys, please note that while she won’t talk back and tell you how to make love, she doesn’t clean herself. You just won’t be able to toss a towel her way and have her clean up the mess you make. I’m just wondering if Roxxxy will be using the iPad for those special times of the month.

I am going to talk a bit about Botox. Some of you are getting too much Botox done and it looks bad. If you think it is helping you to look younger, you are mistaken, looking like a monster is more like it. Your face shows no character and looks like a plastic Cabbage Patch Kid, more like a Chucky if you want me to be really honest. Also, if you are super skinny, the Botox makes you look like you have a big fat head. Literally. So instead of looking young and vibrant, you look like a Bobble Head Doll. There is something about aging gracefully, some of you need to consider that.

Now head on over to Keely’s where all the cool bloggers are hanging out for Random Tuesday Thoughts!

I did absolutely nothing this weekend. Nothing. On Saturday I ran to the grocery store and picked up some food and ran a quick errand but other than that, the rest of the weekend I spent sitting on my ass. I had things to do, I just didn’t do them. I didn’t go to the gym either. I had all the right intentions and a list of things I needed to accomplish but before I knew it, Saturday and Sunday were gone and I had spent most of it in my pajamas.

I wonder if I am depressed or if my hormones are out of whack. Some days I feel vibrant and wanting to conquer the world, on other days I feel drained and lazy. I am not sure if this is still part of the recovery process from the hysterectomy and how much time I should give myself. I am trying not to rush things, but when I have those days that I feel like my old self I want them back every day.

I did do our taxes and I am pleasantly surprised. I will be able to pay the rest of the termite bill off and we have a few projects around the house that will be able to be completed that will not break our budget. We are going to be doing some tweaking to our budget and striving to get rid of some debt we accumulated over the last two years. While I will be happy to be paying some stuff off, that means sacrificing our month at the beach. I know some of you are saying “A MONTH that is really expensive!” Actually, it isn’t. To rent a house for a month in the fall is LESS than renting for a week the other portion of the week. The deposit is the same though no matter when or how long you rent the house and with this particular company does not count towards your rental. If that was the case, I probably could play with my budget enough to make it a possibility.

Which brings me to BlogHer10. I want to go. I don’t want to really go by myself though and I am not sure I could room with someone I have not met in real life. I know I could not afford to room alone that is for sure. I can afford to buy the ticket and the transportation (should I fly, which scares the shit out of me!) from our tax return. The accommodations and spending money I would need to come up with between now and August. I could sew and probably do a garage sale or something if I don’t get a part time job to make the money, it just could not come out of our budget. Mr. K is not totally on board with me going but he said if I really wanted to do it and could make it happen than he wasn’t going to hold me back. I think his main concern is the kids and childcare, which is also on my mind.

I know to some of you I see fearless, but I am wrapped up in fear and anxiety everyday. I have to work hard to conquer it. I like my comfort zone. My comfort zone is not me getting on a plane. It is not me using a taxi or public transportation in a place I have never been before. I also do not like drama. I’ve read about the last two years at Blogher and I read a lot of drama and that scares the shit out of me. One of the reason I hated highschool was because of cliques and drama and backstabbing and cattiness. You can tell yourself you will avoid it and not get involved but often before you know it you find yourself sucked in and drowning in it. I also don’t want to be invisible either. I am sure there are lots more women who feel this way too. So in 28 days I need to make a decision because I will not buy a ticket after early bird pricing has passed. I’m on the fence even though I really want to meet so many fabulous bloggers and people on Twitter. I guess I will see if I can muster up some bravery.