I am overwhelmed with the supportive and thoughtful emails, comments, and Facebook messages about my last blog post. Thank you.
Some days I am not sure what to expect from people. The last two years I’ve had a shit storm of things happen that leave me questioning who I can trust, who is toxic, and who is a person that will lift me up and not drag me down. I’ve been let down by people who I thought had my back and been surprised and blessed by those who have lifted me up. I have formed relationships with people I didn’t expect to because of their compassion. I’ve been really blessed to have been surrounded by such good women and men, Mr. K and I both have.
And then there are the haters or the ex-friends who have nothing better to do than gossip or put their own spin on my life. They still come here and read this blog and relish in my personal pain. I believe one of them said I was getting what I deserved in the form of karma. Keep in mind this very sick human being is someone I helped for many years and made personal sacrifice for. And what makes it worse is that even though this girl has a long history of lying people still want to believe her when she is doing nothing but trying to start rumors.
I’ve done my best to be real and honest about what has gone on between Mr. K and I and the fact that I just about dropped my basket in the process. I don’t think of myself as strong, but I realize I am. I believe that from the wreckage we have built an even stronger marriage. Even though I was deeply wounded and the man I knew had deceived me I did not give up on him or us or myself. I come from a long line of stubborn, willful, strong women who believe in kicking ass and taking names but also taking care of business. Luckily I have been able to block out the rumors and naysayers over the last ten months because I recognized the source(s) were just trying to be hurtful and destructive.
So I am going to address some of the rumors and just down right lies that have made their way back to me. (and let me say I appreciate the ovaries and balls some of you have had to ask me directly about them)
- Mr. K did not have affair with one of my friends. This has been one of the most hurtful rumors and persistent things I have been asked, even just two weeks ago.
- This was not something that took place over a long period of time. In fact we are talking a few months.
- I know I am a bitch but that is not why this happened. *I* didn’t do anything. It is not my fault and the insinuation that it is and by other women disgusts me. I have always taken care of business at home and even if I hadn’t that is not a reason.
- I am not staying so I can keep my “cushy” lifestyle or maintain a certain image. This makes me want to laugh.
- Mr. K wanted to work things out with me because he is afraid of me. This might be true. For a few months he fixed all his own drinks and most of his meals. #justsayin
- I went crazy. This is totally true. However I didn’t go to the 13th floor. I got immediate help. Immediate. I didn’t deny it. I saw a psychiatrist and went to therapy. I take medication. I’m pretty honest about my mental health issues, which are UNDER CONTROL. Also, I think there should be no shame and secrecy discussing this kind of thing.
- I did not force my husband to go to therapy. He goes on his own. He can quit at any time. I also did not make him go to marriage counseling. His idea. I will say that this was the natural thing for us to do – whether we stayed together or not. Our marriage counselor helps families getting divorced too when children are involved.
- I am not a lesbian. I am not having a secret affair with anyone. And if I was, this would not be a reason for my husband to cheat. In fact he would ask for pictures or ask to watch just like most red blooded American men who love girl on girl action. #justsayin
I recognize the source(s) of this bullshit. I also know these people have their own train wrecks that need tending too. Some are just jealous and mean spirited. Whatever the reason why they act like asshats I wish they would just leave me and mine alone because over here we take care of business. We aren’t pointing fingers and blaming everything and everyone else – we own it, we take responsibility for it. We also choose to make this time in our life a time of learning and personal growth.
And even though my life has been a “wreck” it has been beautiful. There has been a lot of laughter, a lot of joy, and happiness. Mr. K and I can poke fun at our situation. We have a lot of fun together. We are different yet the same. He is still a great husband and father. We both have had a lot of personal and spiritual growth. Things do not have to be perfect to be beautiful or wonderful. Life is what you make it.