This post is not what you think it is about.
It is definitely about teenagers and it is definitely about sex, but it is not about teenagers having sex. Thank God, because I am not ready emotionally to deal with any of my teenagers having sex.
However my soon to be 13 year old son has informed me how disgusted and perverse it is that me and Mr.K have sex. Our 11 year old son feels it is gross and something that we should probably not be doing while we still have kids in the house.
As sexually liberal as I have always been I am not sure how I raised such prudish children. I believe in “grossing out” the kids. I feel it is important for kids to see their parents affectionate towards each other and kissing. I believe it is healthy for children to know their parents have an exclusive, intimate relationship that does not include them. Sex is a healthy part of our lives and our relationships, my children think it should be reserved for star crossed lovers on movies and procreation.
13 – I can’t believe y’all have sex! That is so gross!!!
11 – What are you thinking? It’s not like y’all can have more kids.
13- I hope you don’t have sex while we are awake.
16- Be glad they are having sex and not fighting all the time or getting a divorce.
13- EWWWWW that is just nasteeee
16- Married people who don’t have sex are probably unhappy and have pent up frustrations. Do you want parents like that?
11- No, but they could DO IT when we are not around.
13- They should only have sex when we are asleep then.
Thank goodness the 16 year old has some sense because she is right. It is not healthy to not be having sex in a committed relationship like marriage. Not only is it healthy for the couple, it is healthy for the family as a whole.
11- Mom do you have sex when we are awake?
Me- That really is none of your business.
11- That is just gross. You need to ONLY DO IT when we are asleep. Do you have sex when we are asleep?
Me- It doesn’t matter when we have sex. It’s not your business.
13- Could y’all not have sex when we are home?
Me- I don’t think that would work considering we homeschool. Key word being: HOME. And y’all are here all the time.
And this kind of conversation has gone on and on for months in our house when the two boys began to realize that we were not just parents, but married people who love each other. Now any kind of affection or attention Mr. K and I show to one another that our boys see you would think that we were committing some kind of sin. But it was yesterday that totally took me by surprise by these two young men, it was the day I was judged for the kind of underwear I wear. Evidently my panties are a sin and it is perverted for me to have under garments that is in anyway colorful, sexy, have lace, or have words printed on it. This is what I was scolded over when I came home after running errands. You would have thought I had done something horrible, like sold off their electronic gadgets.
13- Mom (said with scowling look) we SAW your underwear in the laundry room and that is just wrong.
Me- What are you talking about?
11- YOUR underwear has words on it mom. ON THE BUTT!!! You are advertising sex on your butt.
Me- No one sees my underwear but me and your dad.
13- OMG MOM your underwear says “the night is yours“. What kind of message does that send? What if you were in a wreck and had to go to the hospital?
11- AND your underwear is different colors and has lace. Why do you need panties like that?
Me- Why not? And why are you inspecting my underwear?!
11- Your underwear should be plain and only in one solid color.
13- With no words on it. I am totally telling Justin (his therapist) about this tomorrow when I see him.
Me- You are going to tell Justin about my panties?
13- Yes, because you need to stop wearing them. It’s inappropriate.
Me- Y’all know I am not an old lady right? I get to wear what I want.
11- You should have thought about that Mom before you had all of us.
And there you go people. Mothers should not wear sexy or nice underwear, especially with lace, unless their kids are no longer living at home. If ever.
And just so you know I wrote this post in my son’s therapist’s office while he was back there discussing my underwear. I just hope he is not discussing the size of it.